


you're my all and more

by bbyyunki



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a little dash of angst, happy birthday seungkwan!!, i guess, squint and youd see jeonghan, squint more and youd see mingyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28791372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyyunki/pseuds/bbyyunki
Summary: “Hey, Hansol, about 9 years ago,” Seungkwan sat down beside Hansol, “did we somehow know each other?”Hansol did nothing but smile at Seungkwan, making Seungkwan feel flustered.orSeungkwan thinks he's forgotten something he shouldn't forget, but what would it be?
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Kudos: 27





	you're my all and more

**Author's Note:**

> my birthday gift for seungkwan!  
> thank you for being born, seungkwan, love you loads  
> kwanranghae <3

_ “Woah, Hansol-ssi, you can teleport?” Seungkwan’s mouth was agape, drinking in the autumn scenery of Quebec City. "I've never been overseas before," Seungkwan muttered in awe. _

_ “Especially through a blue door,” Hansol supplied proudly to Seungkwan, who couldn’t shut his mouth about the scenery. Not bothering whether Hansol answered his previous question or not, Seungkwan asked more. _

_ “Hansol-ssi, are you familiar around here? You seem like you come often.” Seungkwan quivered in excitement as he gazed at the taller male who sighed in exasperation, awaiting for his answer. _

_ “Well, yeah,” Hansol shrugged. He turned and prepared to walk away from Seungkwan. _

_ “I’m gonna go around and explore on my own, Hansol-ssi!” Seungkwan hollered at Hansol. _

_ Wait. Why was he here in the first place? Hansol swiveled around and swiftly grabbed Seungkwan’s arm before the boy dashed off in another direction.  _

_ “Wait a minute, how the hell did you come together with me through the door? No one’s ever done something like you,” Hansol questioned Seungkwan. _

_ “Maybe it’s because I’m your goblin groom,” the boy replied with a shy smile. Hansol cringed when he heard the boy claim that he was his groom. He had encountered many who claimed so, but they never had what he wanted. Hansol felt it was a hopeless search, so he decided to let it be. _

_ “Seungkwan-ssi, I’m not a goblin so stop saying you are my groom,” Hansol emphasized and walked away from Seungkwan with big strides. _

_ “C’mon, Hansol-ssi, you’re a goblin, right? My elders keep telling me I’m the goblin’s groom, so you have to be him,” Seungkwan tapped Hansol’s shoulder once he caught up to Hansol, slightly catching his breath. _

_ Hansol slowly faced Seungkwan, his hands in the pockets of his long coat. He glanced at his watch. His eyes flitted to Seungkwan and motioned for him to talk. _

_ "Hansol-ssi, if you’re really the goblin, I just want you to know that,” Seungkwan paused, building tension. _

_ “I love you," Seungkwan finished with a child-like grin, his eyes crinkling into crescents as he smiled.  _

_ Hansol froze. The people that walked beside them slowed down in their footsteps as Hansol and Seungkwan held eye contact. Hansol tore away from the contact and regained his composure. _

_ “Come, we’ve not much time.” _

___________________________________

“And that ends our radio session for today. Thank you for tuning in to Seventeen FM, may your days always shine bright!” The DJ for today's shift finally ended the session. Seungkwan exhaled a relieved breath once the red “ON AIR” board turned from red to green. 

“You’ve worked hard, Boo PD,” Seokmin smiled warmly and handed Seungkwan a cup of hot coffee. “It wouldn’t be a success if it weren’t for you too, Lee PD,” Seungkwan thanked Seokmin for the coffee and sat down beside him.

“Say, the CEO isn’t too happy with the low percentage of listeners of our radio station,” Seokmin sighed as he stirred in a packet of sugar into his coffee. 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes and laughed helplessly. “I’ll probably get a hell out of it, since I’m the person in charge,” Seungkwan twirled the teaspoon simply in the coffee cup.

“Don’t fret, you always manage to find a solution to our problems, you’ll be fine,” Seokmin took a sip from his coffee reluctantly. “I’ll get going now, the other department called me for a meeting,” Seokmin rose from his seat and bid Seungkwan goodbye.

Seungkwan slumped back to his seat after he saw Seokmin off. 

“Am I really fine?” Seungkwan wondered out loud. Seungkwan’s reminder went off as he packed up his things slowly. He reached into his coat pocket for a bottle of pills and retrieved one pill. Along with a glug of water, he swallowed the pill. Seungkwan sighed as he pushed the door. His tote bag kept sliding over his drooping shoulders, there was no difference whether he adjusted it or not.

\--------------------------

Seungkwan gripped his tote bag tightly as he made it back to his house. He felt the gentle raindrops land on his face once he left the broadcasting building. His breath became ragged as the rain got heavier.

“What’s wrong with me? It shouldn’t happen now,” Seungkwan muttered under his breath as he nimbly avoided the crowd, not wanting to have an attack in public. 

Seungkwan finally got home. He slammed the door behind him, his tote bag thrown on the sofa as he paced to his room. The mattress sank as his weight landed on it softly.

Tears flowed down his cheeks as he clutched his chest, wincing in pain. Seungkwan curled into a fetus position, bringing up his knees to his chest slowly. He choked out every sob excruciatingly, gasping for breath. 

A lightning bolt lit the dark sky outside, followed by a clap of loud thunder. Seungkwan was shrinking, the pain physically and mentally swallowing him whole. His heart was doused in flames, a hole forming in his chest. The tears kept on streaming down his cheeks, forming streaks on his delicate face.

“Why do I feel so sad? Why does it hurt so much? Have I forgotten something I shouldn’t have?” Seungkwan wept ruefully, his clutch still firm on his chest that hurt uncontrollably. 

Seungkwan didn’t know how long the rain lasted, but the pain he suffered from each and every rain seared itself in his mind, whether he liked it or not.

===========================

_ The autumn breeze caressed Hansol's cheeks softly. Hansol crouched and held a bouquet of buckwheat flowers gently in his hand. The buckwheat flower field was his favorite place, it has always made him feel at peace. He'd been living long enough to finally have somewhere he truly liked. _

_ Hansol peered into his hands that held the small bouquet. His hands started emitting fumes. Hansol panicked, he'd never experienced this before in his uncountable years of life.  _

_ A desperate voice invaded his mind, "Please, let me have a job, a boyfriend, and free me from my aunt's grasp. Please save me from this!" _

_ Hansol felt weird, but quickly returned to normal as he suddenly got teleported to the seaside. Hansol was full of questions, his face scrunching up in curiosity.  _

_ Hansol stared blankly at the person who summoned him. The person had their back against him, their hands holding a birthday cake as they sat alone. Hansol took pity of the person and decided to question them. _

_ "Hey," Hansol gently called out. _

_ "Oh my god," the person whirled around, placing his hand over his chest,"you scared me." _

_ His chubby cheeks were tinted slightly red due to the harsh sea breeze that attacked his face, his chapped lips slightly apart. _

_ "You're the one who summoned me?" Hansol switched his gentle tone into a firm one, remembering the disturbance of his peace in his buckwheat flower field. _

_ "I'm sorry, but I don't recall summoning anyone," the boy nonchalantly stood up and patted off the dust from his pants, placing the cake box on the floor.  _

_ "But you did!" Hansol replied in surprise, holding onto the buckwheat flower bouquet. _

_ "I did not!" The boy pouted as he tightened his blue scarf around his neck. _

_ Hansol rolled his eyes and glanced at the boy that stood in front of him. _

_ "It's your birthday, isn't it?" _

_ "Yeah." _

_ "I'll grant all three of your wishes." _

_ "Really?" The boy's eyes sparkled as he confirmed. Hansol nodded his head in reply. _

_ "Here, have this," Hansol extended his hand that held the flower bouquet to the boy, eliciting a questioning look from the latter. _

_ "What does this mean?" The boy said as he turned the petite bouquet around. _

_ "Lovers." _

_ "Wow, so romantic." _

_ "I'm Boo Seungkwan, by the way," the boy grinned brightly as he stuck out his hand for a handshake. _

_ Hansol shook his head, rejecting the handshake, "I'm Hansol." _

_ "Nice to meet you, Hansol-ssi," Seungkwan fidgeted slightly. _

_ "Nice to meet you too, if you'd excuse me I'll get going now," Hansol quickly excused himself as he disappeared within a blink of an eye, leaving a blue flame behind him. _

_ Seungkwan tilted his head slightly.  _

_ "Such a weird man," he wondered to himself and smiled. _

\--------------------------

"Happy birthday Boo PD!" Birthday wishes from his colleagues flooded Seungkwan as he got in the broadcasting studio.

Seungkwan thanked every single one of them with an honest smile on his face. 

"Boo PD, let's go for a birthday dinner tonight, it's on me, and everyone's invited." Soonyoung proudly said, puffing out his chest. Soonyoung's prompt made the whole studio cheer for him.

"You weren't that generous when it was my birthday, Kwon PD," Seokmin laughed as he punched Soonyoung's chest.

"Thank you, Kwon PD," Seungkwan said gratefully as he held a gentle smile at their playfulness. Seungkwan excused himself and got out of the studio for a breather.

When he went for a walk outside the building, he bought a small cake for himself, since it's been years since he celebrated his birthday. Seungkwan smiled bitterly, his birthdays always remind him of his deceased mother.

After he bought the cake, he made it to the rooftop of the office building from the emergency exit. He made sure the door didn’t close too loudly so that no one would know he was there.

Seungkwan sat on a bench, his birthday cake placed on the box. The candle flame wavered slightly as the wind blew. He held the box that placed the birthday cake carefully, not wanting the cake to fall onto the floor.   
  


“My 29th birthday, is it really something worth celebrating?” Seungkwan whispered.

“All I do is make things worse in my whole life,” Seungkwan laughed dryly as he eyed at the cake.

Seungkwan shrugged. Since he already bought the cake, he might as well celebrate it. The flame from the candle wavered, the melting wax almost dripping onto the cake. 

He shut his eyes tight as he had the birthday wish in his mind. Slowly opening his eyes, he blew out the candles. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the cold wind that grazed his cheeks lightly. 

Suddenly, Seungkwan heard a dull thud. Startled, his eyes flew open to process what was going on. He scanned his surroundings, but stopped and stared at the person sitting on the grass.

The man stared back at Seungkwan. He looked disheveled, his hair long and untidy. He wore a black robe that made him seem like he was auditioning for a role in a history drama.

“Seungkwan, is that you?” The man spoke as he hastily got up.

Tears gathered in Seungkwan's eyes, a sense of familiarity for the male shook his heart. 

_ Why do I feel like crying? Have I met him before? Why does he feel so familiar? _

Questions clouded Seungkwan's mind as he placed the cake box on the bench. The man quickly enveloped Seungkwan in a tight hug, his body warming up in the embrace.

"Thank you, Seungkwan. Thank you," the man choked out as tears wet his cold cheeks.

Seungkwan hugged back instinctively, although he knew he never hugged anyone this tightly before. However, Seungkwan quickly realised what he was doing. Seungkwan didn't know that man. Seungkwan pushed the man away, surprise flashing over the man’s eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that," Seungkwan harshly wiped his wet cheeks.

"Sorry if I scared you," Seungkwan could only flash a helpless smile at the stunned male.

"Wait a minute," Seungkwan instantly frowned,"who are you? Why are you here?" Seungkwan raised his tone slightly.

"I'm Hansol, remember?" The male’s voice quivered, reaching out weakly to take Seungkwan's hand, only to be rejected by a flinch.

"You're really funny Hansol-ssi, I don't even know you and you expect me to remember you," Seungkwan sniggered as he checked Hansol out. Seungkwan then remembered there was an audition for an upcoming history drama.  _ Perhaps he got lost. _

"Anyways, if you're looking for the acting department, it's not in this building," Seungkwan got his padding coat from the bench and gave Hansol a curt smile.

"It's illegal to trespass this building without an employee card. Good luck for the audition, Hansol-ssi," Seungkwan pat Hansol's shoulder encouragingly and shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. Although Seungkwan's expression softened from earlier, he slammed the door loudly to express his dissatisfaction when he left.

"Audition?" Hansol looked at himself and laughed after Seungkwan left the rooftop. 

"He really did forget me," Hansol said to himself sadly as he opened the exit door.

===========================

_ “Hansol?” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “Why does it always rain these days?” _

_ “Because I felt sad.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ Because I know I have to leave you one day. _

_ “Just because.” _

___________________________________________

Seungkwan rushed home after the weird encounter he experienced at the rooftop. Adjusting the straps of his tote bag that always slid over his shoulders, he fished out his house keys and unlocked the door.

He made a dash to the dusty cupboard that sat peacefully at the corner of his living room. Retrieving the key to unlock it, he held his breath without knowing.

The small cupboard door flew open after Seungkwan unlocked it. He placed the stacks of yellowed papers that blocked what he was finding beside the cupboard.

Seungkwan took out a soft cover notebook from the cupboard. He gently blew the book, the dust on its surface flying onto the floor of his living room. The same confused look when Hansol barged into his private place that afternoon clouded Seungkwan’s face again.

“He says he’s Hansol and asked me whether I remembered him or not…” Seungkwan mumbled to no one in particular as he recalled Hansol’s soot-stained face.

Seungkwan shrugged as he skimmed through the yellow pages of his notebook. He took notes of every single thing back in the days when he was in high school. He was sure he would’ve written something if he did remember Hansol.

“Should be somewhere…" Seungkwan scrutinized as he flipped the pages impatiently,"...here!” he exclaimed as he found the page, but concern slowly took its place in him. He held the book close to him as he read the passage aloud.

“Please remember, Boo Seungkwan. His name is Chwe Hansol, he looks like a foreigner and his gummy smile is cute…what the hell?” Seungkwan cringed before settling to read the whole thing.

“He’ll come as the rain and the first snow. He’ll keep his promise," Seungkwan gazed at the last sentence.

"Remember, you are his groom.” Seungkwan’s voice grew smaller and smaller as he read out the sentence at the bottom.

“Who is this Hansol guy? Why was I his groom?” His grip on the book loosened as he furrowed his brows. Seungkwan quickly dismissed the thought, with Hansol’s face still in the back of his mind.

===========================

_ “C’mon, just let me drink one more can,” Hansol struggled against Seungkwan’s iron grip against his hand which was outstretched to reach for the beer. _

_ “No more beer for you, Hansol,” Seungkwan wagged his finger in front of Hansol’s face that was tinted red from the alcohol. “You got so drunk, how can I let you drink more?” _

_ “I just want another can,” Hansol pouted at Seungkwan, whose face was visibly annoyed. _

_ Seungkwan ignored Hansol’s pleas and pressed Hansol’s arm back to its normal place. Seungkwan looked at Hansol like he was a naughty child, playfully glaring at him. _

_ “You see, drinking is bad--” _

_ “I know, I’ve been alive long enough to know it is.” _

_ “Why were you drinking anyways?” _

_ Hansol let out a long sigh, and retrieved one empty can from the table, looking at it as if it was the last thing he’d see in his lifetime. _

_ “I was sad.” _

_ “Why? It didn’t rain just now, though.” _

_ Hansol changed his focus from the empty beer can to Seungkwan’s face, a sad smile graced Hansol’s lips. _

_ “Can you pull out the sword from my chest?” _

_ Seungkwan hummed in consideration as he cupped Hansol’s flushed cheeks. _

_ “Will you become prettier though? I read in those children books that you’d become either prettier or a broom,” Seungkwan laughed cheekily _

_ “But I think you’re too handsome to become a broom,” Seungkwan smiled warmly and caressed Hansol’s cheek. _

_ Hansol gazed endearingly at Seungkwan, like it was going to be his last time seeing him. Hansol made little mental sticky notes at the back of his mind about Seungkwan. His bright smiles, his boastful laughs after winning a game in MapleStory, the constellation of beauty marks lining from the side of his ear to his eye. _

_ Just in case Seungkwan agreed to make him return to dust. Just in case he disappears. Just in case.  _

_ Hansol smiled back at Seungkwan. _

_ “If you think so.” _

\--------------------------

The chilly autumn wind greeted Seungkwan delightfully, blowing his hair and sending the strands into random directions. He was thrilled to have crinkling sounds of the fallen maple leaves hitting his ear every time he took a step.

Seungkwan felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and fished it out. He sighed with relief when he saw the name of the contact on the top on the screen and accepted the call.

“Hey Seungkwannie~ How’s your vacay in Canada?” The comforting voice of Jihoon crackled in his phone, making Seungkwan break into a faint smile.   
  


“It’s great, hyung. I finally got to get away from the annoying CEO,” Seungkwan rolled his eyes at the thought of it, eliciting a laughter from Jihoon at the other end of the line.   
  


“It’s nice to know you finally have time off from being the most talented radio producer ever.”

“Gosh, hyung,” Seungkwan whined, “I gotta go now, the calling rates are expensive. Take care, hyung!”

“Bye Seungkwannie~ Enjoy yourself there.”

The line went dead after Seungkwan ended the call on a happy note. Seungkwan stuffed his phone into his pocket and strolled along the bustling streets of Quebec City.

The rowdy sounds of the passersby and the thought of having a whole week to himself made Seungkwan excited. A sense of familiarity he never had struck him when he walked past a blue door, so he stopped dead in his tracks and backtracked to the front of the blue door.

“What’s there inside?” Seungkwan curiously inspected the door, his hand reaching for the door handle. With a loud creak, the door flew open before Seungkwan got to open it, making Seungkwan yelp in shock.

“Whew, it’s been long since I’ve been here,” The man that emerged from the door enthused as he flattened out his suit.

“Hey you! Didn’t you know there was someone behind the door before opening?” Seungkwan scolded the man, but something ticked in his mind. The man smirked playfully at Seungkwan, prompting him to continue.

“Wait…” Seungkwan hesitated, “weren’t you the man at the rooftop that day? Your name was… Hansol?”

“Yours truly,” Hansol gloated, his eyes glowing proudly.

Seungkwan hugged himself tightly and reached for the insides of his tote bag, “how’d you know I’d be here?”

Seungkwan squinted his eyes and inched closer to Hansol, “did you stalk me?”

Hansol waved his hands desperately, his eyes bold with denial. “I swear to god I didn’t,” he said as he raised three fingers.

“You better watch out, Hansol-ssi,” Seungkwan pointed a finger at Hansol’s chest and glared, “or I’m gonna call for help.”

Hansol opened his mouth, and closed it again, not knowing what to say to defend himself. Seungkwan humphed and proceeded to leave Hansol. 

“Won’t you feel bad leaving someone on their own here in this,” Hansol gestured exaggeratedly, “unfamiliar place?”

Seungkwan stopped dead in his tracks and turned around, giving Hansol the curt smile that was similar to the one he gave on the rooftop.

“I’ve never been here before either, Hansol-ssi,”Seungkwan laughed and extended his arm to the opposite direction.

“This way, sire,” Seungkwan said humorously, taking the lead while skipping off excitedly at the pointed direction.

“But you came here with me once,” Hansol muttered to himself, slowly following Seungkwan’s footsteps.

===========================

_ “Oh my god, Hansol-ssi,” Seungkwan mused at the decor shop gaily adorned with Christmas decorations. _

_ Hansol just stared at the amazed Seungkwan who pulled him into the shop without any warning, feeling annoyed at his enthusiasm. _

_ “Are you done--” _

_ “Hansol-ssi, can you take a picture of me in front of this huge Christmas tree?” Seungkwan threw his phone to Hansol and posed in front of the tree. _

_ Hansol just picked up the phone and glanced at Seungkwan. Seungkwan’s eyes were shining bright of excitement, his smile so wide it made his eyes turn into crescents. _

_ “Oh, do you know how to use this? It’s like this, you press this button--” _

_ “I know how to use it,” Hansol glared at Seungkwan, “and no, I don’t want to.” _

_ Hansol tossed the phone back at Seungkwan and stormed out of the shop. His eyebrows became furrowed as he thought of Seungkwan asking him to take pictures of him.  _

_ “Who does he think he is to order me around?” Hansol fumed as he walked in big stomps. _

_ “Hey, don’t leave me here!” Seungkwan finally caught up to Hansol and pulled the latter’s arm. _

_ “What now?” _

_ “I just came here for the first time, and you’re going to leave me alone in this foreign country?” Seungkwan rolled his eyes and shrugged. _

_ “Wouldn’t you feel guilty leaving a high-schooler alone somewhere they don’t know?” Seungkwan pouted and poked Hansol’s arm, his tone growing smaller. _

_ Hansol knew what Seungkwan was trying to do, but could he be this heartless to do this to him? It would be unheard of, abandoning a high school kid somewhere he didn’t know. _

_ Hansol let out an exasperated sigh. _

_ “Let’s go.” _

\--------------------------

Seungkwan and Hansol went for a stroll at a park nearby. Seungkwan kicked some dead leaves, while Hansol just looked at him kicking them up in the air.

“I have a question,” Seungkwan broke the peaceful silence between them.

“What is it?”

“Were you perhaps the person I met--”

“Oh, I’ve a place I wanted to go,” Hansol cut Seungkwan off and grabbed him by the arm.

“What are you doing--”

“You’ll know soon.”

In a few minutes of running and Seungkwan panting after being pulled along with Hansol, they arrived at a community park. Seungkwan was skeptical, because Hansol said it was his first time here, but why did it seem like he’s been here for his entire life to navigate this easily?

Hansol guided Seungkwan to a green slope in the park, passing by couples making out on the lawn 

Seungkwan felt anxious and held his bag tightly, ready to whip out the pepper spray he’s been preparing.

“We’re here,” Hansol announced.

Hansol went to sit in front of a few tombstones, leaving Seungkwan standing on the slope. I have to know the truth, Seungkwan thought to himself and walked towards where Hansol was sitting.

“Hey, Hansol, about 9 years ago,” Seungkwan sat down beside Hansol, “did we somehow know each other?”

Hansol did nothing but smile at Seungkwan, making Seungkwan feel flustered.

“Maybe it’s just me,” Seungkwan laughed nervously, “don’t mind too much about it, sorry.” Seungkwan hung his head down and took a deep breath.

Seungkwan stood up to stretch. His jaw dropped at the picturesque scenery that unfolded beneath his eyes. An abandoned white castle greeted his sight, the rays of the sunset warmly bathing it and the green grass in front of them. 

Seungkwan was about to turn around and exclaim to Hansol about the beauty of the scene, until he saw a picture of someone very similar looking to Hansol on the tombstone. Hansol was still nearby, sitting in front of a few tombstones. Seungkwan felt panic filling up his veins, anxiousness pumping boastfully throughout his whole body. 

“He can’t be a ghost, right?” Seungkwan mumbled, his mind fuelled with thoughts that never helped.

“Hey, Hansol!” Seungkwan shouted, feeling oddly offended as he charged towards Hansol.

“Are you a ghost? Why’s your picture there?” Seungkwan accented the last word, anger bubbling in his chest.

“You can still see ghosts?” Hansol blurted out. Seungkwan wasn’t supposed to see them anymore, not after he left.

“How the hell did you know I could see them once?” Seungkwan got defensive, emotions unable to be contained anymore

“I--”

“No, just stop lying,” Seungkwan turned his head away, “Stop following me, or you’d have a bad afterlife awaiting for you, whether you’re a ghost or not.”

Seungkwan had his head held low as he left the park, leaving Hansol in a trance.

Hansol frustratedly rubbed his face, chastising himself for stepping over the border.

“Did I fuck up again, Jeonghan hyung?” Hansol chuckled pathetically, touching the tombstone before leaving the park.

===========================

_ Seungkwan pressed the password into the keypad, unlocking the big mansion’s door. When he entered, he couldn’t see Hansol anywhere, making him sigh with relief. He was worried when Hansol asked to pull out the sword from him, but Hansol wouldn’t even tell him what would happen after the sword was removed. _

_ Seungkwan had to find a solution somehow, so he decided to pay the grim reaper a visit, who was also living in the same house as Hansol. It’s weird right? A goblin living together with a grim reaper. _

_ “Mingyu-ssi, are you here?” Seungkwan called out to the empty house. _

_ “What’s up, Seungkwan?” A fluffy mop of light-brown hair popped out from a room. _

_ “Come out please, I want to ask you something,” Seungkwan declared solemnly. _

_ Mingyu raised his eyebrow in confusion, wondering why’s the bubbly Seungkwan acting like this today. _

_ “Seems like something serious,” Mingyu said as he sat down on the couch and curled up his legs. _

_ “Why, you broke up with Hansol? Pfft he’s just too--” _

_ “It’s not.” _

_ “...Oh,” Mingyu awkwardly avoided Seungkwan’s stern gaze, “Then?” _

_ “What will happen when I,” Seungkwan poked his own chest, “remove his sword?” _

_ “It’s quite difficult…” _

_ “Would he become pretty? A broom? Or something else?” _

_ Mingyu hung his head low, exhaling a breath. _

_ “You see,” Mingyu looked up, his eyes filled with sorrow that wasn’t explainable to Seungkwan. _

_ “He’s been asking you to remove it because when you remove it,” Mingyu paused, “he’ll return to dust.” _

_ Seungkwan’s eyes wavered, his heart skipped a beat hearing Hansol will go.  _

_ “What do you mean by returning to dust?” Seungkwan’s voice was weak, tears threatening to fall. _

_ “He’ll be gone forever, that isn’t too bad,” Mingyu speculated, “but I’ll become lonely.” _

_ Mingyu cleared his throat, “but I need you to remove that sword.” _

_ “You want him to die?” Seungkwan’s voice cracked, his hands placed on his lap curling into fists. _

_ “So that I can finish my job, remember that you would’ve been dead years ago if it wasn’t for him,” Mingyu ended with a shrug. _

_ “There must be a way for him to live…” Seungkwan gripped onto his baseball pants, crumpling them as tears broke free from his eyes. _

_ “I’m sorry,” Mingyu said, remorse washing over him like a wave, “for letting you know the truth this way.” _

_ I can’t let him die like that, Seungkwan thought as tears wet his cheeks, with his head still hung low. _

\--------------------------

“Hey, hyung,” Seungkwan spoke into the phone, the night being quaint and peaceful as he strolled on the sidewalk. 

“Oh, Kwannie? What’s up?” The soothing voice of Jihoon never failed to cheer Seungkwan up, even on days that were just too shitty to be told.

“I feel strange, hyung,” Seungkwan ceased, avoiding cutting in the middle of a lovey-dovey couple eating up the narrow space of the sidewalk.

“Why, you’re sick?” Worry laced Jihoon’s crackled voice, making Seungkwan chuckle slightly.

“No, it just feels like I’ve been here before,” Seungkwan broke into a faint smile as he saw a brightly lit Christmas ornament shop tucked snugly in the alleyway.

“Deja vu?”

“Hmm, I suppose so, bye hyung!” Seungkwan made his way to the ornament shop.

Seungkwan pushed open the heavy door of the shop, a lavishly decorated Christmas tree greeting his sight. He hummed at the prettiness of the shop, feeling overwhelmed with the ethereal sight that radiated happiness and warmth.

“Should get my picture taken, no? It’s too pretty not to,” Seungkwan fished his phone out of his tote bag.

A trigger went off in his mind, his vision turning blurry as the world wobbled in front of him, blaring on and on as he stood still.

===========================

_ “Hansol! Hansol,” Seungkwan cried out, crawling towards Hansol who knelt on the ground, his chest slowly vanishing out of sight. _

_ “You said,” Seungkwan hiccuped, tears wetting his cheeks, “we’d never be apart, why now?” _

_ Hansol’s lips cracked into a melancholic smile as he looked at Seungkwan preciously. Hansol reached out, his rough palm caressing Seungkwan’s cheek. _

_ “Don’t cry, I promise you,” Hansol whispered to Seungkwan, using all the energy he had at that moment. _

_ “I’ll come as the rain, I’ll come as the first snow, I’ll be there for you whenever you summon me,” Hansol cupped Seungkwan’s cheeks, the latter sobbing and his body jerking once in a while. _

_ “Please, don’t go... please,” Seungkwan begged to the gods as he held Hansol tight in his embrace, feeling Hansol slowly slipping away from his fingertips. _

_ “I love you, Seungkwan. Thank you, for all you’ve given me,” Hansol smiled at Seungkwan, a tear escaping his eye. _

_ “I love you too, Hansol.” _

_ Hansol’s body slowly turned into dust, dissolving in the wind as Seungkwan held him. Trembling, Seungkwan scrambled to retrieve his tote bag thrown at the side for his notebook. _

_ Seungkwan couldn’t distinguish whether it was tears or rain on his face, both of them washing down harshly on his face. _

_ He got a pen and flipped open his notebook to an empty page, quickly scribbling down what he could save before he lost all his memories of Hansol. _

_ “Please remember, Boo Seungkwan,” Seungkwan said out loud as he wrote down, his breath stuttering.  _

_ “His name is Chwe Hansol, he looks like a foreigner and his gummy smile is cute, please remember,” Seungkwan took a deep breath and continued, “he’ll come as the rain and the first snow. He’ll keep his promise.” _

_ “Remember, you are his groom,” Seungkwan choked out the last sentence before the sound of a loud clap of thunder hit his ears. _

\--------------------------

Seungkwan had his head in his hands, dazed by the intrusion of memories. Didn’t it all belong to him? Wasn’t that man Hansol, the one whom he told to scram?

A tide of emotions welled up in his chest as he burst out crying. Trying to wipe away the tears, he ran out of the shop. He looked left and right, searching for a lit candle. He didn’t bring any inflammable things with him since Hansol left.

Seungkwan’s eyes shone with joy as he saw a lit candle hanging beneath the roof of a house. Seungkwan ran to it as fast as he could, little sweat beads forming under his bangs.

“He better be here before 5 seconds, or else he’s dead,” Seungkwan huffed and blew out the candle, closing his eyes as he waited for Hansol to appear.

“Chwe Hansol! It’s been 3 seconds--” Seungkwan whipped around, only to see Hansol standing there, smiling dearly at him.

“C’mere, Kwannie,” Hansol beckoned Seungkwan with open arms.

Seungkwan just froze on his spot, his emotions eating him up again. Seungkwan finally remembered him, it took him long enough.

“Hansol…” Seungkwan stammered, “are you really back?” 

“It was you who summoned me, right?” Hansol pouted, his hands inserted in his pockets.

“Geez, you and your memory--” 

Seungkwan hugged Hansol tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. Hansol hugged back, his hands soothing Seungkwan. Hansol could hear little whines from Seungkwan and fists weakly punching his chest.

“You left me so suddenly,” Seungkwan caught his breath, “don’t leave like that again.”

“Never will, I promise,” Hansol cooed and kissed Seungkwan’s temple.

Comfortable silence enveloped them like an old friend, both of them liked that.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

The chilly wind of the night fondled the couple like a favourite child, not hurrying them to return to their place of rest, because they were already in each other’s embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this piece in conjunction with Seungkwan's birthday!  
> don't forget to leave a kudo and comment if you will! it means a lot <3  
> you can find me on twitter !


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